Kerosine
Today is the day that you ended it.
A four-year friendship down the drain, over…
Miscommunication.
You’re a psychology major and I study English.
We are both water signs who have no issue
Unveiling emotion
So tell me, Samie, how did it come to this?
There is no verbal bridge we cannot cross.
Our words will always find their way home.
There is no feasible reason to part ways over…
Miscommunication.
A loss is a loss,
And even though it isn’t heartbreak,
I am aching.
Because I thought you were better than that.
I thought we were better than that.
But I see now that
when you choose to wear rose-colored glasses,
The red flags just blend in.
Praising our friendship because we never fought,
While you fell out with everyone else around you,&: a lot like refusing to call 911
as your neighbor’s house is burning.
Sure, I smell the smoke.
See the flames.
I notice it all, but there is a haze surrounding me
and I cannot see clearly.
So I decide to see nothing.
And even as the foundations crumble around me,
I stand tall.
So I invite you into my sphere, closer.
But I watch your hands.
As if I am resistant to the same flame scorning
Scorching everything else in your path.
You, a liar.
Sorry, I mean a lighter.
Me, a perfectly poised thumb.
I can burn this bitch to the ground if I so choose.
But I wait on that.
Because we all know what happens
when you play with fire.
Instead, I watch. And wait.
I gather my evidence with the full knowledge
that I will burn you
before you ever get to burn me.
I take note of the way you’d rather
discuss your problem with someone, with me,
before ever going to them about it.
And how you tweet first and engage later.
I see this and I fail myself by thinking I am immune.
I’m sure it’s been through the grapevine
before it ever made its way to me
But this isn’t all about you.
I can admit when I’m at fault too.
Because I failed you too.
By letting your problematic coping mechanisms slide,
I posed as your enabler.
You aren’t above criticism,
And I should’ve given it to you.
I should’ve told you that your victim complex
is by far your worst trait.
That nobody cares who you’re subtweeting.
And it’s not cool to detach from someone
without first telling them why.
That you cannot expect changed behavior
without airing your grievances.
It is not fair to expect people to read your mind.
Come on, water sign; you know this.
Shouldn’t I?
We did this to each other.
In your hand, the kerosine
In mine, the match.
Together, hand in hand,
we let it go.
(Ablaze.)
