The First Time
The first time you say nigga,
I’ll let it slide.
Because I’d like to think that you’re not a dumbass.
And before you fix your sparsely created lips to say:
“I just think no one should say it,”
Keep in mind the fact that you did.
To me.
Oh - not to me,
Just in front of me.
And somehow, that’s different.
You say, “it wasn’t like that.”
I say, the oceans are still ridding themselves
of the stains of my ancestors' blood.
You say, “I didn’t have anything to do with it.”
I say, you do presently benefit from the system
manufactured to break Black souls.
The culprit for emotional scars
and the mental deterioration of an entire race,
whose sole function is to scathe; to reprimand.
To serve as a reminder that 400 years ago
is only 7 or 8 grandmothers.
You said, “400 years ago,”
And you’re wrong there too,
Because it didn’t end then.
400 years is where the transgenerational,
psychological warfare began.
Slavery was abolished in 1865
That’s 155 years.
In terms of the Matriarch, that’s only 3 or 4.
You can do the math with me;
It’s almost elementary,
Has no one told you this before?
So Brayden. Hunter. Logan.
The next time you say nigga,
it better sound like “the N word.”
It better sound like a breakdown of the cycle of systemic oppression
repeated by a flesh tone that automatically gets more credit than mine.
This word is not “for whites only,”
But to be clear, it’s not “for coloreds” either.
I’m looking at you, Camila. Jose. Gina Rodriguez.
Allow me to fill you in.
Because although my brown brothers and sisters
are my brothers and sisters indeed…
Y’all ain’t got it like that.
We walk in solidarity,
but our fights are not the same.
Do not be confused:
There is no such thing as an N-Word pass.
Always know that in this political climate,
you’re only a slur, a bullet, a hashtag away from needing your own movement.
It’s starting to feel like Brown lives only matter
when Black ones are at stake.
The first time you say nigga,
Scan the room.
Look around,
And know that the difference between me and you
Is that I’m willing to explain your faults
Before I shoot.
You have the privilege of conversation
Without K-9s or water hoses or tear gas.
There’s no reason for this to get lost in translation.
Trivializing exclusively Black experiences
is what keeps them going.
And now you say, “it wasn’t that deep.”
I say, isn’t it?
That is the first image I see
when that word falls from your lips.
And to you, it might be “just a word.”
But you should’ve known better than that.
You should’ve paid more attention.
Don’t ever talk to me like that, boy.
But if you do…
The first time you say nigga,
You better say it with your chest.
Because this word will be the reason
You might not get to use the excuse
“I have a Black friend”
Ever again.
